Chin up!

I made this blog almost a year ago, and have finally decided to utilize it...although I'm not sure I'll have anything too interesting to share with the masses. Here goes nothing, folks!...

I'm not even quite sure where to begin. My life as of late has been really wonderful, and also a complete and utter mess. Last week I was going through the millions of pictures that I have from past years. Whenever I'm looking at old pictures I find myself getting nostalgic for the past. I'm not quite sure what about the past is so appealing, I still had issues I had to over come everyday, however for the most part all of the pictures I do have are filled with smiles, distant faces, and enjoyable times to say the least. I need to take more pictures, I want to be able to look back and remember what good times I am having right now. Because for the most part times are really good, don't let me fool you.

Although as I stated times have been really good, nothing can ever be perfect, can it? Finances are tight, we have mice living in our apartment, my gas tank is on empty, and a very important person in my life (to say the least) is now embarking on an everyday struggle that I cannot make go away. I try not to think about it, but I guess I have to deal with it at some point. It wasn't until I recently heard the fear in his voice, and the jokes being pushed aside that it really hit me...this isn't going to go away. When I was a kid, even up until the deaths of my Grandma and Grandpa, I never thought anyone in my family would become ill. It always seemed to be something that happened to everyone elses families, but not mine. Sometimes I wish I was still that niave, because I have no idea how the hell to handle this. When I allow myself to actually think about the seriousness of the situation that has fallen into the laps of my family I feel scared shitless. Maybe that's why I felt nostalgic for my past as I was looking at those old photos, he wasn't sick and I was still niave.

In closing: I'm listening to Radiohead (Let Down from the OK Computer album to be precise), and whenever I do I feel emotions that I have never felt at any other time in my life. It's refreshing, it's one of those songs where I can just close my eyes and not think about anything else that's going on. Give it a go, it's my suggestion for the day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_wGLZmwZ8o

P.S. I didn't really touch too much base on the good I've been experencing in everyday life, but I'm enjoying my life as much as I can right now. And another complelty different note, Ryan and Courtney are leaving for France on Monday for quite a few months. Two of my closest friend are leaving and I'm sad!